more than what I have been or perhaps will ever be
I want to spill out of these confines of skin and bones
and mingle with the rain and the snow just like how the wind does
I want to become more
than this world will ever understand
or will ever be able to define as something other than a surplus or
abundance
I want to become more than a mere contrivance
I want to become more
in ways that a spark ignites an idea of an everlasting dream
in ways that the pause between each of my breaths tells me,
it is the understanding of the little deaths between living that is liberating
I want to become more
than the formless thoughts that arise in my mind
that come into existence in the form of the words
rolling out of my mouth
I want to become more than the colour of my skin
and the history I have carried so long within
a story about reckless struggles and scars
from the battles, I could never win
After all the days of comings and goings
years of pondering
I tread upon the crisp white snow
of this strange land
where
I
learned
how
to
measure
joy
and
sorrow
with coffee spoons
just like everything else is measured and meted out
This land where the trees are so tall
that sunlight hardly ever reaches your heart
this land where I am always going round in circles
and coming back to the spot where I first started
This strange and distant land
this hinterland of my very own making
- y.l.l
*artwork by Kelly Vivanco
